Publicly deciding to go on this journey, though mortifying due to my private nature, has come with an unexpected benefit. Not only am I meeting new people and learning about their perspectives, but many old friends have reached out to me and struck up wonderful conversations about life. I have learned a lot by listening to people discuss how they have made their big life decisions.

I am clear. I do not encourage others to follow this path. Travel dating was the right for me to do at this moment in time, but for very specific reasons. I came to this decision based on my particular values and life circumstances. 

Reasoning by Analogy is our default as humans. Essentially, we look at what other people are doing and then copy it while slightly varying it to our own situations. This is a powerful tool. If your boss or someone you respect does something a certain way you presume they have good reasons for doing it and they aren’t dead or a complete failure so mimicking them will be a safe bet. Given our social nature, it also provides us common experience with others and bonding opportunities.

There is only one problem with this: you aren’t the people you are copying. And, you have different life circumstances. And, they could be wrong or at least inefficient. And, you could miss opportunities that are outside of the current system of thought so you will always be behind the cutting edge. And, they are probably just copying others as well. Okay, maybe there are many problems with this way of thinking.

So, What’s the alternative? Reasoning from first principles. This means questioning your assumptions until you get to the most basic you can. And starting from there.

Who am I? 

At other points in my life, I would have put strong importance on random cultural markers that I appreciate. Like, I love indie movies or folk music. Or that I am a huge GK Chesterton fan. Or being a world traveler and spending time in Haiti or on the Camino. Or service through mission trips. While I love all of these things, they are not what define me. If they did, I’d always be defined by my past.

There are values underlying these artistic tastes and experiences: Truth, Beauty, and Goodness.

It doesn’t matter whether you are deciding to pack up your life and hit the road, or picking a new job, or which potential partner to pursue. Start from principles. 

Otherwise, There are many people giving contradicting advice. Many of them have your best interests in mind. But, relying on others for direction quickly gets confusing. Emotions are followers, not leaders. Core values are clear and purposeful.

In other words, when you are on an adventure, pack light.

Quick Travel Story: I went to the FSU game watch for the FSU-BC game Raleigh Durham Seminoles club. A couple I vaguely recognized came and sat next to me at the bar. As we got talking we realized they were not only visiting from Orlando for the weekend, but we had actually met in Orlando a couple of years ago at Saint Margaret Mary. 

We ended up Barhopping and hanging out for over 10 hours. We got to see lots of cool spots around Raleigh and got lost in deep conversation. Now, I have new friends. Small world.