If you are one of the rare few left who don’t want to live in a virtual world, I am preaching to the choir. Effectively communicating what you want/need/believe is true is still crucial to accomplishing anything in work or relationships.

I am writing this post at a conference on artificial intelligence (Yes! It is basically Revenge of the Nerds). 

While I am bullish on AI helping us solve crucial technological problems, improve human material well-being, and open up daring new possibilities, I dread the continued degradation of human social life the internet has brought about.

  The internet of all things, sitting in our smartphones, in our pockets, has enabled us to cluster into echo chambers where we get cheap validations on our mental ruminations from strangers the world across. It tempts us with a diverse collage of dopamine hits every minute of the day. From cat videos to political drama to porn to dating apps, we can hardly breathe for being entertained. 

We can hardly feel uncomfortable for a moment without that familiar reach to the pocket for cellular comfort.

The movie Her eerily captured many of these dynamics. Joaquin Phoenix’s character soothes every uncomfortable emotion of loneliness with an ever-present AI girlfriend, whose voice was played by Scarlett Johansson. 

In an unsettling twist, OpenAI failed to recruit Johansson to be the voice for their AI chatbot, hoping to recreate a dystopian film. Subsequently, they stole her voice but dropped it after being threatened with legal action.

This saga illustrates how AI continues the trend of technology distracting us from our negative emotions.

Worse still is our desire to control our relationships. 

One of my favorite films is Ruby Sparks. Paul Dano plays an author who overcomes writer’s block when a girl comes to him in a dream, and he writes about her. She upends his life by becoming real and, subsequently, his girlfriend. Thus, he is in a controlling situation where he can make her do whatever he wants by writing it into being. Like excess clinginess…

I won’t spoil the movie, but it reflects on ego and control. 

AI will tempt us to create ‘perfect’ relationships where we specify exactly what we want. Always maintaining control.

These relationships will never be real. Human relationships require struggle through negative interactions. To be surprised by people. To find beauty in the brokenness of people.

Social situations are anxiety-producing because, heck, most things in life are anxiety-producing. When we meet another person, we are confronting yearning and chaotic souls. We don’t know what opinions, questions, and energy we will face. That’s just how it is.

A lot of research shows we expect social interactions to go worse than they actually do. The guy sitting next to you on the plane is probably more interesting than the movie you want to watch.

If we avoid, distract ourselves, or control others, we will miss out on the bliss of human connection. 

All of my fondest memories in life were in the presence of others: Sitting around listening to a guitar, playing with ideas in a philosophical convo, or exploring vulnerabilities, hopes, and dreams with a close friend.

I know these experiences are becoming rarer, but we will hold on to them. They are in our nature.

Life Update:

I have left Austin, went to the FSU Super Regional in Tallahassee, and of course went to San Francisco.

Taking a nice vacation from the Journey. Here’s me with AI Rafa Nadal: